Summary by Theresia
Research Highlights
- Psychopathic and narcissistic traits in a person’s intimate partner are associated with a greater probability of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) severity.
- Grandiose narcissism is the strongest predictor of PTSD (compared to vulnerable narcissism and psychopathy) in victims/survivors.
- There are several manipulation tactics that individuals with psychopathic and narcissistic traits use in intimate relationships:
- Gaslighting (the fog)
- Love bombing (the hook)
- Stonewalling (the wall)
- Jealousy induction (the comparison)
Background
Have you ever been in a relationship that started like a fairy tale but ended like a psychological thriller? New research by Arabi involving nearly 1,300 participants has pulled back the curtain on how individuals with psychopathic and narcissistic traits operate in romantic relationships — and the findings are a wake-up call for anyone navigating the modern dating world.
Love-bombing is one tactic that is used by psychopathic and narcissistic individuals to manipulate their partner. During the initial stages of the relationship, the psychopathic or narcissistic individual will show excessive attention, flattery, or gift-giving to the recipient (typically, the romantic partner). However, it is used to gain power and control over victims/survivors (Strutzenberg et al., 2017).
Gaslighting is another tactic that is used and consists of behaviors that lead a victim/survivor to question their thoughts, perceptions, and experiences. Often victims/survivors question whether their experiences are valid. Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic to make a victim/survivor “look crazy” or feel like they are going crazy (Riggs & Bartholomaeus 2018).
Stonewalling is a manipulative tactic that consists of shutting down conversation. The perpetrator refuses to talk about problems, withdraws, or even gives the recipient the silent treatment (Arabi, 2023).
Jealousy Induction is also used by individuals high in psychopathic and narcissistic traits. It involves trying to make their romantic partner experience jealousy by flirting with others, bragging about their ability to date others, or having affairs with others (Arabi, 2023).
It should be noted that, in addition to psychopathic traits, the researcher examined vulnerable and grandiose narcissistic traits:
- Grandiose narcissism is what we typically think of with regards to narcissism. People with this trait are arrogant, exploitative, extraverted, and confident and they want to be famous, or at least to be known.
- Vulnerable narcissism is different and harder to spot. Such people are entitled and self-absorbed, but they are hypersensitive, neurotic, hide their sense of entitlement, and prone to experiencing anxiety or depression (Miller et al., 2017).
Why was the study done?
This study was done to explore how narcissistic and psychopathic traits lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), even accounting for prior childhood victimization. The researcher also wanted to explore whether manipulation tactics (gaslighting, stonewalling, jealousy induction and love-bombing) contribute to the partners (of these individuals) severity of PTSD, and how individuals with high psychopathic and narcissistic traits use these methods in relationships.
How was the study done?
There were 1,294 participants (1,214 were female, 66 were male, and 14 were non-binary). They filled out questionnaires about PTSD, whether they had experienced childhood abuse or prior abuse, psychopathic and narcissistic traits in their partner, and their experiences of manipulation tactics.
What did the researchers find?
The researchers found 1,076 (83.2%) were no longer in the romantic relationship, and 218 (16.8%) were still in the relationship.
The majority of participants (97%) indicated they had experienced emotional abuse, and 41.9% had experienced physical abuse. Also, 65.6% reported a history of childhood abuse while 24% reported previous abuse in another relationship.
With regards to PTSD symptoms, grandiose and vulnerable narcissism and psychopathy were all related to the severity of PTSD symptoms – but especially grandiose narcissism. This means that grandiose narcissistic traits in intimate partner perpetrators contributes the most strongly in PTSD symptoms in victims/survivors.
Psychopathic and narcissistic traits in partners were related to the severity of PTSD even when the partners’ use of manipulation tactics and childhood abuse were accounted for. This pattern of findings provides evidence that for victims/survivors the severity of PTSD is not just due to a history of childhood abuse or experiencing manipulation tactics, but is also due to being in a relationship with someone with high psychopathic or narcissistic traits.
Most participants also experienced gaslighting (95.1 %), love bombing (78.6 %), stonewalling (93.2 %), and jealousy induction (76.2 %).
With regards to participants’ experiences with love-bombing, participants reported that, early in the relationship, they had been treated to flowers, gifts, and even vacations. They also said that the psychopathic or narcissistic partners claimed they were “soul mates” and even mimicked their personalities, interests, and hobbies to gain trust. Some participants also said that physical intimacy occurred quickly, that their partner expressed they were in love within a few weeks or even after a couple of dates, and that their relationship progressed into cohabitation or marriage within months. Many participants also stated they experienced excessive praise or flattery such as being complimented on their physical appearance and intelligence, and some indicated they received frequent text messages, phone calls, or contact.
One of the most chilling findings was the “devaluation” phase. Many victims/survivors reported a sudden, abrupt shift in the relationship, often right after a major milestone like moving in together, marriage, or pregnancy. This made participants feel extremely distressed or upset and led to feelings of betrayal, and even trauma.
Jealousy induction was also a damaging experience for participants. The researchers found a distinct pattern that emerged: 1) the abuser created a situation in which the partner felt competition or insecurity towards another; 2) the abuser continued contact with past partners; 3) the abuser had affairs or cheated with others; and 4) the abuser made comments or compared the victim/survivor to others in a way that appeared to be designed to invoke jealousy or make them feel insecure. Some abusers even told the victim/survivor directly that they were deficient in comparison to other love interests, prior relationships or flings. If the victim/survivor voiced their objection or concern, the abusers would often invalidate the victim/survivor by labelling them as crazy, controlling, jealous, or even a prude.
A similar pattern also emerged for gaslighting manipulation tactics, with the abuser: 1) blaming or labelling the victim/survivor as “crazy”; 2) experiencing violence or rage when held accountable; 3) engaging in emotional invalidation, and 4) denying the victim/survivor’s experiences or memory. Some perpetrators of gaslighting were able to convince victims/survivors that they (the victims/survivors) were the true abusers and that they had provoked the (actual) abuser. In some cases, they even convinced some victims/survivors that an event did not happen or happened differently (than the person remembered).
For stonewalling, the following destructive patterns were present: 1) being defensive during discussions; 2) not communicating or giving the silent treatment; 3) apologizing to the victim/survivor only to persist in abuse behaviors; 4) accusing the victim/survivor of bringing up the past too often; and 5) yelling, swearing at, or calling the victim/survivor names when trying to discuss the abusive behavior.
Participants revealed experiencing exhaustion, distress, and anxiety due to these manipulation tactics.
What does this mean?
This study shows that even if someone has a history of childhood abuse or has experienced manipulation tactics, that high levels of psychopathic and narcissistic traits in a person’s romantic partner can uniquely and separately lead victims and survivors to develop PTSD. This research also suggests that, of these three risk factors, the risk of PTSD symptom severity is the greatest with grandiose narcissism.
This study also highlights that individuals with psychopathic and narcissistic traits use several manipulation tactics to control and manipulate their intimate partners. These manipulation tactics include gaslighting, stonewalling, love bombing, and jealousy induction. If you are experiencing any of these forms of manipulation in your relationships, it could be a warning sign that the perpetrator may have psychopathic or narcissistic traits.
The takeaway is clear: the mental health struggles following a toxic relationship aren’t just “drama” — they are often a serious reaction to calculated manipulation. Recognizing these red flags, like love-bombing or gaslighting, isn’t just about improving a relationship, or even finding a better partner; it’s about protecting your long-term mental well-being.
Article summarized:
Arabi, S. (2023). Narcissistic and psychopathic traits in romantic partners predict post-traumatic stress disorder symptomology: Evidence for unique impact in a large sample. Personality and Individual Differences, 111942.
Works cited:
Miller, J. D., Lynam, D. R., Hyatt, C. S., & Campbell, W. K. (2017). Controversies in narcissism. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 13, 291–315. https://doi.org/ 10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032816-045244
Riggs, D., & Bartholomaeus, C. (2018). Gaslighting in the context of clinical interactions with parents of transgender children. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 33(4), 382-394.
Strutzenberg, C. C., Wiersma-Mosley, J. D., Jozkowski, K. N., & Becnel, J. N. (2017). Lovebombing: A Narcissistic approach to relationship formation. Discovery, The Journal of Dale Bumpers College, 18(1), 81–89.
