Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation

Do psychopaths cry convincingly?

For example, a mother who normally abuses her children sometimes reads to them aloud. One time she is reading a very sad story to them in which the hero drowns at the end leaving his adopted child to fend for themselves alone. While reading the part where he drowns, she was crying so much she stopped for a minute to recover. She noted afterwards that one of her children did not even seem to notice she was upset.

Another example, a father grabs his child and cries inconsolable into her shoulder like a little boy when he finds out her long illness has returned. Usually he abuses her but she is also his favourite child who he has groomed since birth.

These crying events are the one thing that always makes me doubt that I am right in my gut and everything else, I start to think maybe I'm wrong, can psychopaths pretend to be upset, are they upset, what is going on in these sort of scenarios? I wanted to ask the experts this.

Hello Greentree,

Welcome to the Aftermath forum. Thank you for your question,"Do psychopaths cry convincingly?". I have forwarded it on to someone who can shed some light on this subject. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks we can post some information for you.

Colleen
Aftermath moderator

This is an interesting issue to ponder as i study and recover from psychopaths and narcs in my life. At 53 i discovered my family life has been a seige mostly. Now i’m climbing out of the depths.

When i was still married, my wife’s grandma passed [Information removed. Moderator] just months before my divorce. I was already noticing my soon to be ex’s odd behavior prior to that. At the funeral she cried at her grave site. She was dramatic. Faking a laugh is easier than fake crying.

she wanted to be the only one crying. Center of attention. It sounded half hearted and fake, but i stood there by her side. She pushed me away and kept crying in a boo hoo sort of dramatic way. I had never really heard or seen her crying.

Fast forward to January of [Information removed. Moderator] and my younger brother’s death from [Information removed. Moderator] . I had my brother’s body taken to a funeral home in [Information removed. Moderator] , of course. As we waited for my pychopath mother to sign a release over the phone, my brother [Information removed. Moderator] went into the room where [Information removed. Moderator] body lay. I was in [Information removed. Moderator] , so [Information removed. Moderator] put me on speaker phone while he sat with [Information removed. Moderator] and cried. Dramatic over the top crying for my benefit. I have never heard or seen [Information removed. Moderator] cry about anything before. He had me fooled briefly.

I have other personal examples. No ~ psychopaths do not really cry. They know what crying is and the effect it can have on others when they do it. Its disturbing. I think i know quite a few psychopaths.

Q: “Can psychopaths cry convincingly?”

Here is an answer from the Aftermath Research Committee

A: In our daily interactions, sometimes peoples’ distress is genuine (e.g., real sadness) and sometimes pretended (e.g., feigned sadness aimed at manipulating others). The term “crocodile tears” has been used to describe these fake tears. While research has not yet investigated crying specifically, there have been several studies that demonstrate that psychopaths can successfully feign emotions (including remorse) in order to exploit others, including intimate partners.
While a lack of feeling emotions and empathy for others are some of the central personality features of psychopathy, research suggests that they may be able to recognize and understand the emotions that others feel, and be able to use this information to manipulate people, as well as mimic these emotions to “fit in”.
Another line of research has examined how individuals with psychopathic traits respond to laughing. Laughing is highly contagious. Laughter is a universal display of positive emotion used to facilitate social cooperation and cohesion. Researchers have found that youth and adults with psychopathic traits are less likely to join in with genuine laughing of others. Interesting, researchers have also reported that offenders and undergraduates with psychopathic traits do not yawn in response to yawning in others. Perhaps it is the lack of empathy that make individuals with psychopathic traits less likely to respond to contagious laughing or yawning.

Aftermath Moderator
Colleen

My mom poisoned [information removed, Moderator] over a period of months before he finally died.

When well wishers came by her house after she would turn real tears on and off like a switch. On when they were there. Off when they weren't. The tears were NOT genuine. They were just costume jewelry.

My psychopathic boyfriend started crying over something once that seemed somewhat trivial to his friend and I. The crying spell seemed eerie and out of place, I remember his friend and I making confused eye contact while he sobbed an a strange exaggerated fashion. I think it just depends on the individual, some people are probably better fakers than others. And maybe psychopaths do cry for real. I am unsure if this has been studied academically. But most of the psychopaths I know seldom cry and when they do it is notably disingenuous and kind of creepy.