Advise after leaving a dangerous, criminal, violent man
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2018 11:38 pm
I am absolutely petrified and cannot believe what is happening in my life
and the lives of my children, grandchildren.
I left the most heinous, deceptive, violent, criminal man 5 months ago.
I planned as best I could how to leave him safely, I didn't know what I was dealing
with but I knew he was dangerous and it would be very dangerous when I left.
Now, I'm sitting here 5 months later with my head spinning. The destruction in my life, my children's lives,
is unbelievable. This man, so good looking, so charming, so mesmerizing the way he speaks, his voice and his oh
so confident demeanor. He's highly intelligent, educated, and the most deceptive, manipulative, smooth talking liar
that gets away with everything he's ever done, and it's bad stuff, criminal. He gains others sympathy easily, without effort
and this comes very, very naturally to him and it includes being able to smoothly lie while gaining the sympathy
of authorities including police. He plays innocent victim, extremely well, and he gets away with it, they believe him.
I have never not been believed in my life. I'm also educated, intelligent and am an empath that has always
been motivated in my career, neurosciences, and life by people, I've always loved to help people since as far back as I can
remember as a little girl. Now in my mid 50's I'm sitting here in absolute disbelief and distraught
at the suffering more of my children than myself. This now involves the life of my daughter's son, a new addition
to the family at [Information removed, Moderator], who is now detrimentally affected by default.
This man, he used extortion, threatening me personally with pressing charges on me and my physical safety when,
for the first time I got police involved to stop the heinous abuse where they belived me, he was arrested,
then his twin sister got involved and she is the one who threatened me with criminal charges against myself
and my life saftey for getting him arrested. His twin sister, who helped him from this point on,
over [Information removed, Moderator] years ago now, continued to help cover up his abuse. I had two, not one, but two holding me hostage
to horrific threats, absolutely disgusting and horrific threats, and hiding, protection from his crimes.
I had to recant the charges, informed step by step what to do and say by his sister. But, I know he was behind it,
there was a restraining order in place, but I was informed how to recant and get the State Attorney to drop charges
so I wouldn't be charged with a crime, by him or his sister, or be physically attacked in some way if I didn't
comply. Then, after it "worked", he came back home and violently attacked me and added my daughter,
in her early [Information removed, Moderator] and her daughter,my [Information removed, Moderator] grandaughter, to the threats.
He would destroy them, he gave me a run down of mutiple ways he would do it, most of all with pressing criminal
charges on her that he would manipulate and, that he would kill my grandaughter, to hurt my daughter!
I'm having a hard time, now 5 months after I left, restraining order in place, divorce filed same time I left with
a strong criminal defense attorney managing my restrainig order/injunction and knowledge of all his crimes to others
and abuse, awful physical, emotional, and psychological abuse to me.
He's physically hurt other people, rendering a past girlfriend unconscious and eating a meal over her
unconcious body, along with a long list of other heinous crimes. Things he told me I never believed at first, because he was the
most amazing, loving, compassionate man that I fell in love with, not someone who could do these things.
I had no idea what was to come or of the truths of his crimes. I was the
luckiest, happiest woman in the world with the man of my dreams too good to be true. This man turned into a monster,
ever so slowly the monster in him evolved, and I found myself with the most dangerous person I have ever had near me
in my lifetime.
Now, I know what I'm dealing with. I've been seeing an amazing psychologist since i left him but only once every
3-5 weeks. Textbook, he took all of the money, I have no health insurance for the first time in my entire life. If I had my
money, I'd definitely be paying for therapy at least twice a week for now. I need professional, objective, input
and guidance. I'm honestly afraid moving forward with making firm decisions on actions I need to take unless
I have input from professionals. The most important thing to me, is the safety and lives of myself and my family.
My number one main concern is the safety of my duaghter, my grandaughter, and now my new grandson. My daughter stood
up to ths man and his abuse throughout the relationship and he hates her for it, I mean really hates her and has targeted
her more than me in retribution, for standing up to him. No one stands up to him and walks away without being "punished"
for it. He screams that word, "punishment" and it's alarming and frightening.
So, I spoke to the DV advocate two days ago and I'm still reeling from it. I told her, after discussions with my psychologist
and brother and their advice, that I want to press charges, I want justice, and I want the safety now of my grandson as he's impacted
which is another, too long of a story to add here right now, but he's being hurt now too. Based on the past calls with police in
which they believed the lies from him and just closed out the cases, and the recanting of the one time he was arrested, and the crimes
I need to report of which i informed her of a few, she told me I need to be careful because the police may put me on the watch list.
I can't believe this is happening to me, and I'm scarred. Please help with advise.
and the lives of my children, grandchildren.
I left the most heinous, deceptive, violent, criminal man 5 months ago.
I planned as best I could how to leave him safely, I didn't know what I was dealing
with but I knew he was dangerous and it would be very dangerous when I left.
Now, I'm sitting here 5 months later with my head spinning. The destruction in my life, my children's lives,
is unbelievable. This man, so good looking, so charming, so mesmerizing the way he speaks, his voice and his oh
so confident demeanor. He's highly intelligent, educated, and the most deceptive, manipulative, smooth talking liar
that gets away with everything he's ever done, and it's bad stuff, criminal. He gains others sympathy easily, without effort
and this comes very, very naturally to him and it includes being able to smoothly lie while gaining the sympathy
of authorities including police. He plays innocent victim, extremely well, and he gets away with it, they believe him.
I have never not been believed in my life. I'm also educated, intelligent and am an empath that has always
been motivated in my career, neurosciences, and life by people, I've always loved to help people since as far back as I can
remember as a little girl. Now in my mid 50's I'm sitting here in absolute disbelief and distraught
at the suffering more of my children than myself. This now involves the life of my daughter's son, a new addition
to the family at [Information removed, Moderator], who is now detrimentally affected by default.
This man, he used extortion, threatening me personally with pressing charges on me and my physical safety when,
for the first time I got police involved to stop the heinous abuse where they belived me, he was arrested,
then his twin sister got involved and she is the one who threatened me with criminal charges against myself
and my life saftey for getting him arrested. His twin sister, who helped him from this point on,
over [Information removed, Moderator] years ago now, continued to help cover up his abuse. I had two, not one, but two holding me hostage
to horrific threats, absolutely disgusting and horrific threats, and hiding, protection from his crimes.
I had to recant the charges, informed step by step what to do and say by his sister. But, I know he was behind it,
there was a restraining order in place, but I was informed how to recant and get the State Attorney to drop charges
so I wouldn't be charged with a crime, by him or his sister, or be physically attacked in some way if I didn't
comply. Then, after it "worked", he came back home and violently attacked me and added my daughter,
in her early [Information removed, Moderator] and her daughter,my [Information removed, Moderator] grandaughter, to the threats.
He would destroy them, he gave me a run down of mutiple ways he would do it, most of all with pressing criminal
charges on her that he would manipulate and, that he would kill my grandaughter, to hurt my daughter!
I'm having a hard time, now 5 months after I left, restraining order in place, divorce filed same time I left with
a strong criminal defense attorney managing my restrainig order/injunction and knowledge of all his crimes to others
and abuse, awful physical, emotional, and psychological abuse to me.
He's physically hurt other people, rendering a past girlfriend unconscious and eating a meal over her
unconcious body, along with a long list of other heinous crimes. Things he told me I never believed at first, because he was the
most amazing, loving, compassionate man that I fell in love with, not someone who could do these things.
I had no idea what was to come or of the truths of his crimes. I was the
luckiest, happiest woman in the world with the man of my dreams too good to be true. This man turned into a monster,
ever so slowly the monster in him evolved, and I found myself with the most dangerous person I have ever had near me
in my lifetime.
Now, I know what I'm dealing with. I've been seeing an amazing psychologist since i left him but only once every
3-5 weeks. Textbook, he took all of the money, I have no health insurance for the first time in my entire life. If I had my
money, I'd definitely be paying for therapy at least twice a week for now. I need professional, objective, input
and guidance. I'm honestly afraid moving forward with making firm decisions on actions I need to take unless
I have input from professionals. The most important thing to me, is the safety and lives of myself and my family.
My number one main concern is the safety of my duaghter, my grandaughter, and now my new grandson. My daughter stood
up to ths man and his abuse throughout the relationship and he hates her for it, I mean really hates her and has targeted
her more than me in retribution, for standing up to him. No one stands up to him and walks away without being "punished"
for it. He screams that word, "punishment" and it's alarming and frightening.
So, I spoke to the DV advocate two days ago and I'm still reeling from it. I told her, after discussions with my psychologist
and brother and their advice, that I want to press charges, I want justice, and I want the safety now of my grandson as he's impacted
which is another, too long of a story to add here right now, but he's being hurt now too. Based on the past calls with police in
which they believed the lies from him and just closed out the cases, and the recanting of the one time he was arrested, and the crimes
I need to report of which i informed her of a few, she told me I need to be careful because the police may put me on the watch list.
I can't believe this is happening to me, and I'm scarred. Please help with advise.