Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation

I don't understand something. The sociopath wants to be admired and 'worshipped' and loved. So, if he has a partner that is loving him, admiring him, etc; why does he hate you if you are loving him? That doesn't make sense. It makes sense if he's jealous of you, or insecure; but if he can see you're in love with him and faithful to him isn't that desireable to him? Wouldn't he want to be in 'control' in that way? Why would you turn on someone that is loving you? What would they get out of seeing someone hurting and sad? What are they thinking, "ha, ha, look at her crying because I threw her away and she's missing me?" you're saying that's a thrill for them?

It is not about "hating that you are loving him" but is more about the general irritability and boredom factor. It is desirable for them to have a partner who is faithful and adores them (in fact, most of them pick very empathetic, honest, caring people whose life revolves around the sociopath). It is not that they hate the love part, it is that they get used to novelty very fast and than it starts to grade on them. At the same time, intellectually they realize they need the supply of the stable partner, the admiration, the security they provide. Yet, the lack of challenge, novelty, new impulse (that inevitably happens in every relationship over time) leaves them understimulated, resulting in feeling empty and irritated. It is not that they want to specifically hurt you or see you sad, they don't really care about your internal state that way. If anything, your sadness can be nuisance for them to have to be exposed to. It is that you just happen to be the target of this general irritability since you are the one at hand. (Think of the feeling of being woken up in the middle of the night and just feeling drained and irritable with the whole world. Nothing takes this away, except thrill or a fight, and then you finally feel 'normal' for a bit). They feel restless and understimulated and often that results in an urge to lash out just to get a jolt. They have trouble separating their self from others, they also often see you as the source of their restlessness just because you happen to be the one nearby. There is no ideal partner constellation for a socipoath or a way to really alleviate this. They will always be restless and irritable after a while. A partner similar to them is not appealing in the long run because even though they are exciting, they can't be controlled and don't provide enough stability and admiration. A stable partner will inevitable bring unbearable boredom and frustration after the initial high of the challenge and conquest wears off. So they can't win, they can only alleviate their inner emptiness and turmoil temporarily and no relationship will bring them true, lasting satisfaction.

Picture the most annoying insect you can think of... got it? How do you feel about that insect? Well, that's how the psychopath feels about you. You are not even valued for your love of him because he feels nothing. He likes the burlesque because it makes people act differently as a result of an outside stimuli and he does not respond to outside stimuli. Zone out for a minute and that is the emotional level of a psychopath. Dr. George L. Simon says, "They need a healthy dose of shame to wake them up." Shame is an introspective emotion that feeds on itself giving us perspective into each other's struggles.