In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Jill Ricke, a licensed psychologist in private practice, who discusses the consequences for leaving the psychopath. Dr. Ricke contributed the following blog entry:
When you are involved in a relationship with a psychopath your ability to trust your judgment and your self esteem are seriously compromised. The longer the relationship lasts the more damage occurs to the psyche of the person involved with the psychopath. The perception of rejection will trigger rage in the psychopathic individual; this is often enacted in behaviors that will make you feel like you are going “crazy.” These behaviors will be directed at the individual that is trying to leave in an effort to manipulate them into changing their mind. Some of these behaviors include stalking, cyber stalking through email, text messages, face book, etc; lying to you and others in your life to make you “look bad” and manipulating any professional that you are dealing with in your effort to leave, for example lawyers, ministers, teachers, and mental health professionals.
When you are in the process of leaving a psychopath and still feel “a little bit of love” for them it is difficult to imagine how cruel, angry, and revengeful they might become. It is better to expect it to be “ugly” and it not be, than to not expect it and to get blindsided by cruel, subterfuge, lying and manipulation. If you are also in the process of a divorce from the psychopath and there are children involved expect that the children will be used as pawns to manipulate you into doing what the psychopath wants. The psychopath will make threats about child support, visitation, and other legal matters to manipulate you. The psychopath is a master at lying and manipulation to get what they want and they typically “fool” most people into thinking that they have good intentions and are credible.
Make sure that you document everything, print emails, text messages, and any threats that are made; these can be used as evidence if you should need it. The content of the text messages and or emails will range from angry, accusatory, profanity to sweet, loving, and asking for forgiveness. This information needs to be conveyed to the professionals that you are seeing so that they will believe you, and that you are the credible one. The psychopath will attempt to convince your family and close friends, lawyer, minister, and mental health professional that you are “crazy” in an effort to undermine the chance that you will receive any support from them. Warn family members and close friends about the psychopathic individuals’ ability to lie, manipulate and charm them; in the event that you have never shared the severity of the abuse that you have endured with them.